Over all I found this story very sad. I’m not sure any of the characters actually know what real love is. Although there may appear to be some conflict in their definitions of love, it really is played out in the same why by all. What each character calls “love”, is really their way of making themselves happy first, by taking what they can from a companion.
I find Mel to be the most interesting character; I wonder what he was doing his whole five years at seminary that he still has no idea what real love it. As Mel begins to drink more, it becomes more apparent that he struggles with trying to define love in his own life. Although he now is in love with Terri as he claims, he still appears to be very hurt by his ex wife, signifying some sort of connection still lasting. Even though he says he hates it, Mel will admit to having loved her more than life at one point. He becomes very agitated as he continues his story of the elderly couple from the car accident he once treated. The idea that two people’s love could carry on so strongly even until old age seems to puzzle him, as love as he defines it, seems very limited in time.
Terri is an even bigger mess and says that even though her ex, Ed, could threaten her life and constantly do her physical harm, really understood the concept of genuine love. The fact that Terri could see such selfish behavior and call it love suggest that she believes love to nothing more than finding a way to make yourself happy through possessing someone else in your life.
Over all, the entire story leads me to wonder what point the author is making about love. I see it possibly attempting to display how confused many people are as to what real love looks like. Or perhaps Raymond Caver doesn’t believe in love at all, and has come to believe through his experiences that love really is just a way of keeping yourself happy in moment above anyone else.
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These are some solid observations. I hadn't seen how both Terri and Mel were strongly "connected" to their ex's. As you point that out, I'm drawn to think about how Mel even explicitly discusses the continuity or discontinuity from relationship to relationship as something that needs to be considered when thinking about love.
ReplyDeleteThe story is very sad, as you say, of course. But that must be part of the point, right?
I think, sadly enough, that the perspective of love given in this story truly is the perspective of too many people today. We see outrageous divorce rates, infidelity, vicious cycles of abuse and unhealthy conlfist poisoning relationships today and so many are without an answer. I think that as Christiams we should see Mel's lack of understanding and be compelled to truly understand the meaning of unconditional love and what the Lord's original intent of love was before it was corrupted. - Good insight!
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